welcome to my party

i've officially lost sight of the shore and now my face gazes at horizons more beautiful than anything i have ever seen. in choosing to stay single and stay in portland i have forced myself to let go. for the first time in my adult life, i am learning how to be in the moment; how to stop fighting everything. i work to cultivate the kind of happiness that is sustainable, rather than fleeting happiness that comes from a relationship or material posessions or society's sad definition of success. i differentiate between being happy and being distracted.

today i am happy, as i was yesterday and will be tomorrow. any discomfort i have experienced in 2009 has been eclipsed by a shift in attitude, renewed hope, and the knowledge that this really IS my time. i've buried the victim mentality and chosen to take responsibility; not for what happens in my life, but for how i react to it. i have made a conscious decision to create happiness in my life instead of chasing it. and i make that decision over and over, every day.

there is a tattoo on my arm that reads, "celebrate we will." i celebrate the inauguration of the first african american president. i celebrate the unity and hope that americans are feeling after 8 long years of george w. bush politics. i celebrate my summons to jury duty and the american judicial system that declares a person innocent until proven guilty. i celebrate the black eye i got while drunk on vodka and bliss. i celebrate chemistry and the realisation that jeanie davis was right when she said, "tina baby, you can do anything you put your mind to." i celebrate my command of the english language and my ability to have a political debate without resorting to name calling and archaic devices. i celebrate caring who touches my food and being educated on the plight of the migrant worker and farmer in america. i celebrate my refusal to wear the veil of ignorance or be complacent. i celebrate being able to name my strengths at the drop of a hat. i celebrate friends that are loyal and supportive and understanding and forgiving. i celebrate the gospel according to men with guitars. i celebrate my pure potential.